One very silly thing about a birthday is all the lovely well wishes on social media. I admit it, I do love that about facebook. C'mon...I admitted it was silly, but they are just little messages to brighten someone's day. That's a nice thing.
But, here's the thing...
I have a love/hate relationship with facebook right now.
I love it because my book challenge is there, and it brings me such a joy to see interactions with people from different corners of the world and different connections to my life all talking about books.
I love it because I can see pictures of kids, travels, fur babies, and other joyful things that I just don't get to see in that magnitude in any other place from friends and family.
I love it because I've reconnected with some people that bring joy in my life.
I hate it because most everyone is an expert on something. (No, they aren't. They just think they are.) I hate it because people say some of the dumbest, most idiotic, disrespectful, hateful, uninformed things that are sometimes even hurtful to others. I hate it because sometimes I get drawn in to what I think should be intelligent discussions (silly me), but they turn into ugly arguments. I hate it because I'm pretty sure that I've never once seen anyone admit, "I was wrong about topic XYZ, and thanks to facebook, I've been educated and have evolved into a smarter, better, healthier person".
I love it because it gives me a platform to discuss a book with a second cousin of mine that quite honestly, we would not be talking about if it wasn't for us both being on facebook. We don't have each other's phone numbers or emails. She's not a blogger. Facebook is where we chat. There are several people like this in my world. I do feel closely connected with some people and fb is the medium because of it.
I love/hate the voyeuristic opportunities that it allows.
I hate that it can be used by perverts. And inmates. And terrorists. And groups to support dickwads like rapists (Brock Turner's support group, I'm looking at you.) And hate speech/groups. And gangs and cartels.
I love/hate some of the memes that I see making their rounds. Some are wonderful and hilarious; some are moronic and spread ill-advised opinions to sheep-minded people. Let me share one of those wonderful memes that I saw the day I typed this post:
What are some things that you love (or hate) about facebook?
Ha! I love that it's Tuesday for you, and I'm double checking my date over here! Yes to FB love/hate . . . birthdays with FB are the best, but the voyeuristic comparison life is not my jam. And happy belated birthday btw!
ReplyDeleteThat adult goals meme is SPOT ON! :)
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday! I used to think the birthday wishes were silly, but now? I kinda like 'em, so I make a point to say happy birthday to all my FB friends, because I know I like it when they do it for me. It's a pick-me-up on a day that is generally kind of sucky.
ReplyDeleteI think Facebook is a somewhat limited forum. On every other social media site, I follow only the people that I want to, which means mostly bloggers who have similar views on life and who share interesting, and often educational, material. Facebook is full of all the people I have to be friends with or risk offending family or coworkers, and their opinions are quite often uneducated and offensive. BUT one thing Facebook has over every other social media network is the ability to unfollow and I've used that on the majority of my FB "friends." I really only use FB for life events and keeping in touch with friends. I avoid all political discussions and I've noticed when I post "fun facts" or anything remotely intellectual, no one responds, which leads me to believe that everyone else is doing the same thing.
So yeah, I don't have problems with Facebook anymore, I just use it for the things it's good at (showing me cute pictures of people's babies and puppies and letting me know when acquaintances do exciting things like travel, get married, or get new jobs) and don't try to make sense of the rest.
The timeliness of this post is uncanny. Last week, I put myself on a FB diet b/c it occurred to me that FB was bringing me more aggravation than joy. Like you, I enjoy keeping up with ppl that I might not otherwise keep up with and I love looking at pictures of their travels and their families. However, my FB wall has taken on an overwhelming political tone in recent months and I've seen ppl whom I used to consider extremely intelligent post some of the dumbest, incorrect, garbage. After the Orlando massacre, it got worse. I defriended a few who posted such ill, hateful stuff. I figured, if you are that despicable, then I don't want to know you, period. I then hid a few friends. I disabled the notifications from FB so that the little red dot with the number inside doesn't pop up on my phone to tempt me to look. I moved the FB app icon from my main screen on my phone (out of sight out of mind). I don't want to give it up completely, but something had to change.
ReplyDeletePS Looking forward to your challenge starting soon! That is one of the things I enjoy most about FB - your challenge and the book reviews/discussions that come from it.
seriously i agree with all of this! i want to cancel it all the time (and actually did a few years back only to be drawn in again) because of all the negative. but then the positive tends to out-weigh it and it helps me stay connected. which, i guess, is part of the whole point. oh Facebook, you saucy minx.
ReplyDeletexoxo cheshire kat
I hate that people blame facebook for their dissatisfactions in life - social media isn't to blame for the comparison game. You are. Water your own grass!
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, it's just like real life - good and bad, bright spots and assholes.
Facebook makes me happy one minutes, furious the next.
ReplyDeleteGotta learn that people are idiots & move on ;)
Not sure I said it - but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Hoping you have the BEST YEAR YET!!!
This is so timely! I deactivated my account after the Orlando shooting because I needed a detox from all the ignorance and negativity. I think I'm going to continue to use it periodically for your book challenge, but it's been really nice not having it.
ReplyDeleteI love being able to see what's going on in the lives of my friends that might not live close to me anymore that I don't get to see that often, but I also hate being able to see people I don't like and their "perfect" lives, which are totally not perfect and only seem that way on Facebook. I also hate having to deal with all the political nonsense that always comes out during an election year. It gets so annoying and makes me want to unfollow a lot of people!
ReplyDeleteAll of your "hates" are the reasons that I removed myself from facebook. So many ignorant, annoying people, and it seemed easier to remove myself from the platform than remove all of those people from my "friends"
ReplyDeleteI pretty much feel the same way you do about facebook. It is great to reconnect with people you haven't seen in a long time, and to see constant updates of peoples lives with pictures of their kids and activities and such. But then there are the people who are always negative, the stupid arguments, ignorant comments, and all that goes along with it. Certainly a love/hate thing for sure. Happy Birthday!!!
ReplyDeleteI have a love/hate relationship with Facebook too and think most people do. It is awesome that I can see pictures from my nephew's graduation and reception or a cousin's wedding on it. That I can stay up-to-date with a former co-worker whose daughter is experiencing some major health issues and be there for her. But the bad ... whoa. It can be really bad. These days I read with my eyes half closed so I can try to avoid the ignorance and hate, which bothers me as a whole but really hurts when I see people that I like spew terrible things. Those are definitely the people I unfriend. I try to instead focus on the news that I care about or the cute cat pictures (you know I love those!) and funny memes. And I laughed so hard at the grown-up goals meme. So freaking true!
ReplyDeleteI took a two week break from FB once and I felt SO good. The only reason I keep it around is to participate in events and groups (like the book challenge). I also like to see what's going on in my friends' lives, but I really hate the fear and anxiety and anger that I feel when something political or tragic happens. It's definitely a love/hate thing.
ReplyDeletehaha yeah I just hated it. I got rid of my facebook in... 2008? ish? And I've never looked back. What a stupid time suck that was.
ReplyDeleteYup, you hit the nail right on the head about Facebook. It seems like a necessary evil these days. I wish I could be rid of it but I'm a sucker for all the fun stuff that's out there...I tend to scroll past the stupid/mean stuff. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday! I hope you had a sufficiently cake-filled day. I've been off Facebook since about September and I deleted the app off my phone about a year before that - firstly it was a time suck, because I realised I'm weirdly obsessive about scrolling all the way to the end of the news feed (my problem, not Facebook's!) but mostly because it put me off people more than it kept me in touch with them. It seemed to be either full of vomit-worthy posts about how amazing people's lives/kids were, or full of complete ignorance. I'm not sure what it says about the people I was friends with but I got no middle ground! So I ditched it. Now I'm getting FOMO with things like your book challenge and blogger groups, so I'm thinking of setting up a page for my blog. And not telling any of my friends, ha! Excuse the ramble. Clearly Facebook is a contentious topic for me right now!
ReplyDeleteYAY BIRFDAY! I also enjoy the FB birthday greetings. And on that, I've become more selective about who I wish happy birthday to. I don't want to be that person that only says Happy Birthday and then nothing else on FB.
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday!
ReplyDeleteI've gotten really friendly with the "unfollow" feature on FB. I've been able to keep out a lot of stupid comments/status updates that way, because you usually know the ones who spark those discussions. I've also upped my privacy settings. Most of the people I'm "friends" with I've categorized into the "Acquaintance" group, so they don't see my posts because I always post as "Friends except Acquaintances." But I do like seeing updates of friends I haven't seen in awhile, and their kids, and of course the funny memes.
I'm so sick of the stupid arguments on Facebook. I mean, I don't expect everyone to agree with everything I say (although they should because I'm right ;-) ) but at least show some damn respect, you know?
ReplyDeleteI also hate seeing for myself how terrible my friends' and family members' grammatical skills are!
I LOVE keeping up with my friends and family that are so far away. I HATE the constant stream of ignorance that seems to be mixed in among the things I love.
ReplyDeleteI could have written this post. In fact, on my list of future blog post ideas is "my love/hate relationship with Facebook." That's been a post idea of mine for a long time (it's near the top, so it was probably added around the time I started blogging more regularly in 2014ish). I may still write it at some point, who knows? (Probably when I need to blow off some steam about something particularly annoying and/or hurtful that I witnessed on Facebook.)
ReplyDeleteI wish I could figure out a way not to let shit on Facebook get under my skin. I really really do. Because, like you said, there is a lot of good out there. I have friends scattered throughout the country, and I love seeing their vacation pictures and pictures of their kids/pets. I love funny stories and funny memes (like the adult goals you posted above, so true!). There's so much good.
But, unfortunately, there's also so much negativity and hatred and ignorance. I can't seem to get away from it. It makes me see people in a different light, and I don't like it. I feel more disconnected with certain people in my life because of things they've posted on Facebook that I found offensive or hurtful. I guess it's nice to see someone's true colors, but sometimes I wish I didn't know those things about him/her. I know that's the whole "ignorance is bliss" thing, but sometimes I feel seriously awkward at Eric's family gatherings because of something one of his relatives posted on Facebook. It sounds silly, but that becomes all I can think about and then I basically spend my time trying to avoid them without being too obvious.
Anyway, I didn't mean to make this a rant. It's just something I've been experiencing more and more frequently (especially with the upcoming election and some of the other awful things that have been happening in the world), and I think I needed to get it out. I also felt comfortable doing so here because I can tell you get it. :-)
Ha! Your illustrations made me laugh--so clever. I haven't done much on Facebook, so I haven't yet come across hate. That will be a bummer when I do. I love your book club though, and that does so well on Facebook!
ReplyDeleteso i interviewed a guy today for the paper who's been a musician for decades. he'd played at the same venues as van halen and motley crue (has stories you would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to hear). there's a picture in a facebook photo album of him and some dude from stryper (he'd told me his name, and i've since forgotten... because it's stryper, and your appreciation for that band most assuredly exceeds mine). anywho... there's a good use for fb.
ReplyDeletehope you are well lovely :) i agree with everything you said, though honestly, i deleted almost everybody, and even more recently because of everything that is going on. i like the things you mentioned though, and i only use it for those reasons :)
ReplyDelete