'Tis the season for stories from retail

I was able to jot a few stories down that I've witnessed over the last two weeks from the wacky world of retail during the holiday season...........

Guy comes into store wanting to buy his girlfriend a gift.  They got in a big fight, and he wanted to apologize and let her know he's not going anywhere.  Why did they argue about?  That he found her "meth pipe" in her bag...but she hasn't used it since January...so, clearly, there's nothing to worry about.  He bought a bracelet.

Guy comes into store wanting to buy two presents - one for his girlfriend and one for his ex-wife, but he still "likes to keep the ex-wife happy", if I know what's he's sayin'.  He bought two necklaces.

Guy comes into store and thoughtfully buys girlfriend emerald earrings.  He specifically liked the emerald ones because his girlfriend is Colombian, and Colombia produces a lot of beautiful emeralds.  Girlfriend comes in a week later and rudely states "I don't like these. I won't wear these. I am Colombian, and I don't need anyone buying me emeralds. I have emeralds."  After calming the ungrateful hag down, she selected a diamond necklace to exchange for the emerald earrings.

Guy comes into store and looks at a variety of items.  He selects a ring and negotiates a "best price", even a further reduction from the already discounted price.  He says he is going to his bank and "will be right back" with the payment.  We never see/hear from him again.  (This happens all.the.time.)

Lady comes into store to check to see if her ring is ready to collect.  She has her claim ticket out, but she is a repeat customer, and I know her.  I also know that the ring isn't ready quite yet, that Neil has been working on it, and point out that the due date marked is another 3 or 4 days.  Her response is "well, can't he get it done early for me?"  I have a few diplomatic responses for this and assure her it will be due on time.  Her reply "well, if he is so busy, why isn't he back there in the workshop working?"  After (fake) laughing and assuring her again that I would phone her as soon as it was ready, she says again "No, seriously, why isn't he here working?"  Finally...I responded truthfully "he's in the toilet."  Really...can't my guy just do his urination and defecation business without having to justify it to a customer?

Guy comes into store wanting to buy diamond earrings.  After an extensive discussion that includes price comparisons to large chain stores/big box stores...the quality of their product, their buying power due to volume purchases, etc...guy tells me that I am very knowledgeable and have provided him excellent service, but he's still going to buy from them because they are cheaper.  Awesome dude.  Thanks. 

Guy comes into the store and really likes some earrings that are on sale for $699, but he says he better bring his wife in just to make sure she'd like them.  He brings her back.  She selects a different pair of earrings that are on sale for $2,100.  His reply? "Darling, if that is what will make you feel special, let's get them."  See, there are some lovely stories too.

Linking..... with  Kristin and reminding you to be kind to your helpful retail workers: