Thursday, December 15, 2016

'Tis the season for stories from retail

I was able to jot a few stories down that I've witnessed over the last two weeks from the wacky world of retail during the holiday season...........

Guy comes into store wanting to buy his girlfriend a gift.  They got in a big fight, and he wanted to apologize and let her know he's not going anywhere.  Why did they argue about?  That he found her "meth pipe" in her bag...but she hasn't used it since January...so, clearly, there's nothing to worry about.  He bought a bracelet.

Guy comes into store wanting to buy two presents - one for his girlfriend and one for his ex-wife, but he still "likes to keep the ex-wife happy", if I know what's he's sayin'.  He bought two necklaces.

Guy comes into store and thoughtfully buys girlfriend emerald earrings.  He specifically liked the emerald ones because his girlfriend is Colombian, and Colombia produces a lot of beautiful emeralds.  Girlfriend comes in a week later and rudely states "I don't like these. I won't wear these. I am Colombian, and I don't need anyone buying me emeralds. I have emeralds."  After calming the ungrateful hag down, she selected a diamond necklace to exchange for the emerald earrings.

Guy comes into store and looks at a variety of items.  He selects a ring and negotiates a "best price", even a further reduction from the already discounted price.  He says he is going to his bank and "will be right back" with the payment.  We never see/hear from him again.  (This happens all.the.time.)

Lady comes into store to check to see if her ring is ready to collect.  She has her claim ticket out, but she is a repeat customer, and I know her.  I also know that the ring isn't ready quite yet, that Neil has been working on it, and point out that the due date marked is another 3 or 4 days.  Her response is "well, can't he get it done early for me?"  I have a few diplomatic responses for this and assure her it will be due on time.  Her reply "well, if he is so busy, why isn't he back there in the workshop working?"  After (fake) laughing and assuring her again that I would phone her as soon as it was ready, she says again "No, seriously, why isn't he here working?"  Finally...I responded truthfully "he's in the toilet."  Really...can't my guy just do his urination and defecation business without having to justify it to a customer?

Guy comes into store wanting to buy diamond earrings.  After an extensive discussion that includes price comparisons to large chain stores/big box stores...the quality of their product, their buying power due to volume purchases, etc...guy tells me that I am very knowledgeable and have provided him excellent service, but he's still going to buy from them because they are cheaper.  Awesome dude.  Thanks. 

Guy comes into the store and really likes some earrings that are on sale for $699, but he says he better bring his wife in just to make sure she'd like them.  He brings her back.  She selects a different pair of earrings that are on sale for $2,100.  His reply? "Darling, if that is what will make you feel special, let's get them."  See, there are some lovely stories too.


Linking..... with  Kristin and reminding you to be kind to your helpful retail workers:

19 comments:

  1. Ahhh I can't believe people buy gifts for an ex and a girlfriend and SHARE that information with you hahaha. Retail stories are always so unique...I can imagine it is definitely frustrating to work in that industry at this time of year! A close friend of mine works at a mall (big box) jewelry store and she has similar stories to some of yours!

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  2. Wow...just wow! I feel like between retail and teaching, we have the market covered in terms of crazies lol

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  3. That meth pipe really came out of nowhere...good luck to them...I guess? I can understand purchasing a gift for an ex, especially if there are kids involved and you're keeping things civil. I don't understand why you would buy the identical gift for your current gf, that seems more than a little strange!

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  4. Oh my gosh.... Such shady dudes in those first two stories. Can't say I'd stick around if I found K had a meth pipe... He certainly wouldn't be getting a bracelet, lol.

    I love that Woody Harrelson gif! And the one about the people that say they'll be back reminds me of a Family Guy sketch from Tiffany's. Haha.

    Your stories are amazing. I LOVE reading real life stories like these! So crazy! Thanks for sharing!

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  5. lmao - these stories! but seriously retail has the craziest people. i say it all the time - props to you guys! that meth pipe - omg on the floor. all of it really. and that last story - i love that you ended on a sweet note! lastly - great gif usage ;)

    xoxo cheshire kat

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  6. oh, he found her meth pipe in her bag? NBD; here honey, have a bracelet.

    WHAT?????? people like that actually exist?!

    but that last story ....so sweet!

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  7. Oh that last story - his wife has expensive taste. It's a good thing he can afford it. But best of all, I love his attitude to her request.

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  8. I don't know which story is my favorite...probably the emerald lady. Tee hee!

    I do like that you ended with a sweet story proving that not all people are complete asses. :)

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  9. I like that you point blank told her he was in the bathroom. I hope she felt foolish too, because #aintnobodygottimefordat

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  10. ohmigosh these stories!! LOL I'm not sure I have a favorite... but the last guy sounds sweet. hehe Xo - Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

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  11. It kills me when people think others should be working 24/7. Me me me me

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  12. WHY OH WHY do people tell you (or any strangers) these things about meth pipes and "keeping the ex-wife happy"?! Some people have no filter, damn!

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  13. Awww! The last story is so cute! I still don't understand how you were able to keep your cool in some of those situations! I would have gone off on some of them, especially the girl that was a repeat customer!

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  14. Wow, talking about the girlfriends meth pipe. Bahaha! But it's okay, she hasn't used since earlier in the year. Suuuure.
    Who the hell do these people think they are?!

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  15. Question about the guy with the gf and the ex-wife: Was it the same necklace that he bought for both of them??? :)

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  16. Omg...these are hilarious, but dealing with it would be a whole other story! I love the last one though. Too sweet. You have to end on a high note, right?

    -Lauren

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  17. Oh retail....

    The "I don't want emeralds" chick is a massive bitch.

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  18. Wow! You really do see it all! I'm not sure how you managed to keep your composure in some of these situations. The crack pipe! The emeralds bitch! The woman who won't let others pee in peace! Man. I take my metaphorical internet hat off to you.

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