Serious talk

The high school I attended is in a suburb of Houston, Texas about 35 miles north of downtown.  At the time, there were three high schools in our school district.  Since then, the area has grown and a rather disturbing news story has come from my hometown area.  A high school softball coach and social studies teacher has committed suicide after accusations of sexual misconduct with a student.  You can read an article about it here. 

I've been struggling since reading and hearing this.  No, this is not the first story of sexual misconduct I've read about in the last 20+ years.  But, every single time, I read a story like this, I can't help but think of the victim. 

I have my own story, and you can read about it My Own "Dark Places".

The current story is going to be filled with controversy.  The coach and teacher was married with children.  He was only accused, so in light of America being a country where one is innocent until proven guilty, I don't want to make judgement of guilt or innocence.  Some may say he killed himself because of the guilt he felt, or the fear he felt for getting caught, or the stress he felt for being accused of something maybe he didn't do.  We don't know his story. 

I admit that I am angry.  IF the behaviour and actions are indeed true, can you imagine what that 16 year old girl is feeling now?  Accompanied with the trauma, shame, embarrassment, and confusion she was most likely already experiencing, now she is unjustly carrying feelings of guilt as well.  That angers me.  IF the accusations are true, he took the coward's way out.  He added another heap of negativity to that 16 year old added with the trauma he has caused his wife and children.

You know this social media culture that we live in with a whole lot of keyboard judges and juries?  You know the ones.  The ones that sit behind a monitor and pass judgement without facts.  I've already read comments from these people that make my stomach turn.  (Some of those comments are on the news article link I posted.)  Comments that blame the accuser for the man's death.  Comments that question and claim that these are false allegations.  Comments, on the contrary, that claim knowledge of other victims.  None of these comments are needed on social media platforms during a tragic time like this.  I shake my head and my skin crawls. Yes, one comment even made me cry because I can't help my own feelings to creep back in. 

I am going to share some hopes...  I hope the 16 year old girl AND the family of the deceased open themselves up to therapy.  I hope they find a counselor that they develop the type of  therapeutic relationship that will help them sort, discover, face, cope, and heal from the feelings and emotions that will result from the role they play in this tragic story.  I hope they find themselves surrounded with compassion, support, and encouragement.  I hope they are free from judgement, ridicule, and speculation.  I hope this experience doesn't negatively define the future that a 16 year old is facing.

Sadly, I believe that my hopes listed above are stretched and unrealistic.  But, I don't want a life without hope.

Solitude

In the busy lives that we lead with commitments and obligations, work and play, house duties and personal relationships, parenting and mentoring, appointments and schedules............and more..................do you ever just want a piece of solitude?  I do.  I know others do.  After all, there are pins on pinterest about it, so it must be a "thing", right? 

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I'm craving a time-out at the moment.  I'm craving some solitude.  I want to hide.  I don't want television or a phone.  I want quiet.  I am pretty certain my guy needs it too. I want to give him a week or 3 days or whatever he needs to have a break from all work and home obligations. I want a week or 3 days of the same. It has nothing to do with our lack of love or commitment to each other and everything to do with a need for quiet and solitude.  I believe having some solo time for a mental health break and emotional rejuvenation is a good thing.

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Sometimes my life has too.much.noise.   Sometimes, dealing with the general public in a customer service type role, I hate people.  Not all people.  Just rude, idiotic, self-centered, uncooperative people.  I've been getting those kind of customers the last couple of weeks.  I want a break.  I want quiet.  I want solitude. 

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I don't intend for this post to sound like it is filled with negativity.  I really want it to be encouraging for us to bring self-care in our lives.  I need some self-care.  I need solitude.

What do you do for self-care?

 



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