Stuff and Things vol.5: Swear Words and Politics Included

• I think I'm at version #5 of "Stuff & Things", but I'm not 100% sure.  I could check, but I'm lazy.
• If you don't like "f" bombs or profanity, don't read any further.
• I posted this in December 2015, and I'm gonna post it again:  "Trump is a fucking embarrassment. He is a fucking idiot. Fuck him, fuck his hair, fuck his terrible spray tans, fuck his racism, fuck his bankruptcies, fuck "The Apprentice", fuck the political climate that has developed where people are actually supporting him. #goawaytrump". 
• Too bad I didn't include "fuck his misogyny" or that statement from 2015 would be my exact same feelings today.
• If he is actually elected President, I wonder if the FBI will come knocking on my door because of that above statement. 
• In my voting lifetime, my home state has been a "red state".  I have always considered myself independent.  I have voted Republican in the past.  Although, we are all products of our environment (hello, my name is Erin, and I majored in Sociology), I feel like I am willing to look at candidates regardless of the political party they represent. 
• That being said, I am disgusted, dismayed, disappointed, and disheartened in the Republican Party that Donald Trump is their nominee for President. How, how, howwwwww did they not have a person better prepared for this election?
• SO many of the supporters of Trump (as evidenced by my facebook feed) support him because they hate Hillary.  They think she's crooked, a criminal, a liar, a murderer, a career politician, etc., etc., etc.  They can't get past their hatred of her or all things Clinton to examine the real Donald Trump.
• Well, I can't look past my disgust with Donald Trump and the disappointment I feel towards the Republican Party for choosing him as the nominee for President of the United States of America.
• Things shared by me this week:

• This looks awfully photoshopped, but I'm sharing it anyway. 

• Y'all have heard me talk about this musical genius that I love named Butch Walker.  Background info:  He and Pink are besties.  She made a comment on her ig, and followers got upset, and she gave a pseudo apology.  Well, he went OFF on Instagram this week, and it's worth having a look.  My favorite line:  "And the irony of it all is YOU TELL CELEBS TO "STICK TO WHAT THEY KNOW".... Yet, a lot of you are willing to vote into Presidency A FUCKING REALITY TV STAR. Fucking hypocrites."
• I'm a fucking hypocrite for sharing that badly photoshopped "#protectyourpussy" meme because I have been very vocal about my criticisms of irresponsible sharing of memes in this political climate.
• Thank you to the male athletes that have spoken out...  From the Huffington Post:  Pro Athletes Say No One Talks Like Trump in Locker Rooms
• Y'all knew this was coming, right?  From the NY Times:  Two Women Say Donald Trump Touched Them Innappropriately
• Hey Steph, I'm a member of that army you speak of.  If y'all don't know what I'm talking about, then read Steph's post. 

• Enough about politics, here's a meme for all to enjoy:

Linking up with  Kristin & Joey

My two cents

By now, you probably have read quite a few things about that piece of shit rapist Brock Turner.  And his piece of shit dad.  And that piece of shit judge who gave a laughable sentence.  If you haven't, google him. 

There are so many layers to this story that make me spit fire.

Date rape.
Rape culture.
Treatment of rape survivors.
Inequity of sentences given out for different crimes.
Parents that make excuses for their children.
This list could go on and on...

I've got two more layers that I want to comment on...

As a white female, I'm going to throw the "race card" in the mix. I haven't heard many people talking about it.  Maybe that's a good thing.  Because it doesn't matter what color anyone is in this story, the "wrongs" are horribly wrong.

But, my husband and I were talking last night...if this was a black Stanford student, he'd have received a harsher sentence.* ( *exception being if he was a star athlete for a sport that was bringing in high revenue for the university.)
If this was a black guy who happened to be on Stanford's campus, he'd have been locked up and thrown away the keys. 
If this had been a black guy raping a black girl in a poverty stricken area, sadly, most of us wouldn't even know about this story or be paying this much attention.
I'm outraged at the sentence for all kinds of reasons. And, yes, the "race" reason is one of them.

Also, I have a friend...long story...but, two months ago, after a night out drinking with friends, she offered her couch to a male friend who'd had too much to drink to drive home.  This male friend was  a good friend who'd expressed interest in dating her.  She'd had the conversation more than once with him that she loved his friendship, but only wanted that...their friendship...nothing more.  He'd stayed at her house on previous occasions after too many drinks.  This particular occasion, she was sexually assaulted in her own home.  She has chosen not to press charges or legally report him.  She is a civilian that works on a military base.  He is in the military.  She says that in their situation, she knows it is only going to be her word against his.  So, she has already been too fearful of the victim-blaming and shaming that she assumed knew damn well that she would experience.  This week, she pointed to this case as another example of why she is scared to report.  What she said to me "I don't have two witnesses who interrupted the attack to vouch for me."  And, "I don't have the strength to face a military investigation when I'm sure he will only receive a slap on the wrist.  If that."  She did confront him about it, and his reply was "sorry about that; I was drunk."  Sounds a lot like Brock Turner's reasoning. 

This is one friend's story.  I know others.  You know others.  You may have your own story. 

In the case of Brock Turner, hooray for those cycling Swedes that stopped, intervened, didn't just ride pass or look the other way.  Most of all, hooray for the victim who (hopefully) sees that she is an inspiration to many and support is out there in abundance.

Source

Monday Mumblings

Typically, I don't work Sundays or Mondays.  We got a text from our part-timer on Sunday saying that her son is sick, and she can't work Monday.  My guy has a lot of work to do, so he needs someone running the shop.  Guess what that means.......I'm at work on Monday.

 

 

If I have to be at work, instead of working, I might as well write a blog post, right? 

 

 

The court case finding in favor of Sony infuriates and disgusts me so much that I can't adequately put it into words, but I'll try.  Well, first, I'll share a couple of articles that summarize what's been happening up to this point:

Everything you need to know about the case to #FreeKesha

Confused why women don't report sexual assault?  Ask Kesha.

Kesha shouldn't have to work with the man who allegedly raped her

 

photo source

Okay.  I get it.  Dr. Luke (the accused producer) is innocent until proven guilty.  And, I admit, I am no attorney.  I have never studied contractual law.  I am only speaking as a woman, as a person with compassion and concern about the welfare and health of another woman. 

 

Can you imagine being forced to work at a company where your accused rapist, abuser, and tormenter is revered and in a position of power?  For an album, a single, a tour, an artist to reach some success in the music industry, almost all of them need the support of their record label.  Does it appear that Sony supports Kesha? 

photo source - not mine, but food for thought

This case is an example of so many other cases.  Repeatedly, we see the accuser (the victim) being doubted, being questioned, being victimized all over again, yet it continues to happen.  How much courage would it take to speak out against a hugely successful person (in a powerful position) in the world of entertainment?  How much strength would it take to speak out against a huge, powerful corporation like Sony?  A lot of fucking courage and strength.  I'm no fan of her music, but my thoughts and positive vibes are with Kesha, and others around the world are supporting her too, but, what does that support do for her happiness, health, and future career?  As I stated before, I am infuriated and disgusted.

 

On to something a little lighter...

 

Von Miller is a professional football player who majored in Poultry Science at Texas A&M University (the university I graduated from).  He's not just any professional football player.  He was the Super Bowl 50 MVP.  Because of this spotlight, people are noticing what a great guy Von Miller seems to be.  And......he's not just relying on football to take care of him forever.  He has his own chicken farm in Texas (using the university education).  Read this article: Nerd by Von Miller 

 

Plus, this picture has now leapt into one of my favourite fotos of all time:

photo source

 

Trump.  I can't.  I can't say anymore than what I've already said: 

"Trump is a fucking embarrassment. He is a fucking idiot. Fuck him, fuck his hair, fuck his terrible spray tans, fuck his racism, fuck his bankruptcies, fuck "The Apprentice", fuck the political climate that has developed where people are actually supporting him." (originally posted December 16, 2015)

 

I haven't shared a round of funnies lately, so here you go.....

 

 

I'd say "Happy Monday" to you, but really.............

 

 



Thursday Thoughts vol.1

Apparently, Beyoncé bought some shoes that cost $312,000, and some criticized her for it.  I'm sure if you compare Beyoncé's financial portfolio and mine, that would be like me buying a pair of shoes for $5...a drop in the bucket.  Yes, it is an exorbitant amount of money to spend on shoes, but she has an exorbitant amount of money in her bank.  What's the difference between $300k+ diamond-encrusted shoes and a $300k+ diamond-encrusted necklace?  I can assure you there are many wealthy people wearing jewels that cost that much.  Queen Bey is a philanthropic, charitable celeb.  I am certain that she has donated more than $300k+.

from The House of Borgezie

I must admit, I'm more sad than I should be over a celebrity break-up when it comes to the announced split of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale.  Gwen Stefani is one of those that gals who I want to be happy.  I don't know why.  Maybe it was because No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom was one of the soundtracks of my early twenties, and it was filled with lyrics about heartache and love lost.  Way before Taylor Swift become the queen of lyrical heartache and ex-boyfriend chatter, Gwen was doing it.  So, she hooked up with Gavin, who seemed like a naughty boy that the nice girl tamed.  They got married with Gwen in the most amazing wedding dress ever, and she gushed about marrying the third guy she ever kissed, and they had three adorable, ultra cool kids...they seemed like a celebrity couple that I cared about working out.  Alas, it didn't.  I'm sad.  But imagine the lyrical content Gwen has now.  (too soon?)

On the other hand, I could care less about Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck and an alleged cheating scandal.  Call me heartless.

Remember a few weeks ago when there was a shark encounter in South Africa at a surfing competition?

That surfer is world champion Australian Mick Fanning.  I watched Australia's version of 60 Minutes Sunday night where he was interviewed the first time as he went back in the water.  It makes for a good story - he's a good lookin' guy who has been at the top of his game, the shark encounter happened on live tv, there were 9 (long) seconds that we couldn't see him after seeing the shark approach, he punched a great white shark...plus, his family lost his brother in a car accident years ago, and you could feel his mum's anxiety of those moments feeling like she could have lost her other son.  I might have got goosebumps...and a little teary. 

I know many bloggers make confessions on Wednesdays.  I've got one to share today...on a Thursday...I'm  a rebel like that.  If you read Constantly Seeking Wonder, you know that Kati is a massive One Direction fan.  I witnessed Kati's twitter excitement when 1D released a new song this week.  I confess that I watched One Direction's performance of their new song "Drag Me Down" on Good Morning America, and I liked it.

I like to share my thoughts, and I like to be random...so, a link-up that is a place for random Thursday Thoughts?  Sounds good to me!  Join in:

Worth revisiting: My own "Dark Places"

This post was originally published one year ago today. The message is important to me, so I am sharing it again.

I apologize if what I'm about to write will make some uncomfortable.  I apologize if what I'm about to write is better left unsaid.

Many people in my life know various versions of the truth to this story, but almost all don't know the whole truth.  That's because I've felt like I should keep it secret.  I've carried guilt, shame, embarrassment, self-doubt, and self-hatred.  I doubt I will even tell the "whole" truth here because I still carry guilt, shame, and embarrassment.  But, I will share some of my story to try to exorcise some demons inside me, to hopefully bring awareness and understanding regarding those of us that carry negative feelings for a significant portion of our lives.

I read the Houston news on a daily basis.  I have a routine - Houston news, USA news, Australian news, World news.  In the state of Texas, the age of consent for sexual relations is 17.  In 2003, Texas passed a law making it illegal for a teacher and student from the same school to have a sexual relationship regardless if the student is 17 or 18 (age of consent).  Since that time, Houston news quite regularly reports stories about an educator that has been arrested and charged with having inappropriate relationships with students.  As is the case with many criminal allegations, especially those of a sexual nature, there is controversy and varying opinions surrounding these cases.

I've always stated that I respect other people's opinions.  I do.  I've been described as opinionated, so I want others to hear me out (when I'm ready to share) and show respect.  You don't have to agree with me; I don't have to agree with you.  Sometimes when people disagree, this allows for a great opportunity to learn, hear another perspective on an issue, and grow.  State your opinion, but always do so in as respectful a manner as possible.  That is my opinion on giving opinions.  Am I making sense?  I do NOT respect other people's opinions or necessarily want to give them an opportunity to share that opinion if the person is being disrespectful.  It does a lot more harm than good (in my humble opinion).

So...that being said... When I read news reports about alleged inappropriate relationships between a teacher and a student, and I read or hear opinions that are calling the student a "slut" or saying they knew better or were asking for it or "it takes two to tango" (and often comments much, much harsher than this, but this is all I can bring myself to type), I can't help but feel anger, frustration, and the ever present guilt, shame, and embarrassment.  Let me tell you why.

I was that 17 year old student.  I did know better.  I was an intelligent student who was involved in many school activities.  I didn't smoke, and I wasn't promiscuous.  I drank alcohol on 3 occasions in high school, and I can honestly say, I don't think I ever saw drugs my entire high school tenure (except ones shown to me by a police officer). My family wasn't perfect; we had some issues, but I was raised in a Christian home with strong values, and I never doubted my parents' love for me.  Most of my friends were "good kids" and many of my friends' parents were very good to me as well.  So, yes, I knew better.  I knew right from wrong.

Me - my Senior year of high school

I can also say I was manipulated.  I was manipulated by a teacher ten years older than me who was respected, attractive, spoke well, and had a Master's Degree.  He groomed me when I was 16 but didn't act on it until I was 17.  He convinced me that my parents were neglecting me.  He promised to take care of me and give me more security and love than I was receiving.  He tried to convince me that my choice of worship was not good enough; that his choice of faith was better for me.  He encouraged me to separate myself from some of my friends, yet keep others that could cover for us.  Yes, I knew better than to get involved with him, but I was still young enough and impressionable enough that his ploys messed with my head, my heart, my emotions, my decision-making skills.  He definitely used his age, experience, and status to manipulate the situation for his favor.  Typing this, I still feel guilt, shame, and embarrassment.

Eventually, I married this man when I was 19; and I was divorced by 21. During that time, I moved to another part of the country to be with him. His control and manipulation of me continued. When my body began to change (as a woman's naturally does during those years), our intimacy level dropped, and he told me my weight gain "repulsed" him. I went from 120 pounds to 133 pounds was the most I weighed when I was with him. Hardly repulsive.

It took many years of hiding from the aftermath of this relationship.  It took many years of trying to numb my pain or avoid my feelings or fake being strong or laugh and joke about the matter.  All these years, I've carried some pretty deep, dark scars from this relationship.  In recent years, I've finally been able to work through the "stuff".  I've been to therapy.  I read books and articles and blogs.  I relate to various people - from victims to addicts - and their stories of hitting dark places and overcoming them.  I work on myself and try to live and grow.  I pray and sometimes meditate and journal (which I should do more frequently).  I have a partner who encourages me to face the dark and painful past and be open, vulnerable, and honest.  (Previously, I've had a partner who laughed at me and called me an "idiot" for getting myself into such a relationship and another that barely believed me and another who said "you were 'that' girl" and never talked about it again...I understood 'that' wasn't a good girl.)

Was I "That" Girl?

I still struggle at times.  For instance, in writing this piece, well, it hasn't been easy.  I've written, deleted, written again, deleted...  I still have a hard time thinking of myself as a victim.  At that time, there was no felonious law in Texas to criminalize his behavior.  If our relationship happened in 2004 or 2011 or today (anytime since the law was passed in 2003), he would be guilty of committing a felony, and I would be a victim.  The guilt, shame, and embarrassment that I still fight to this day doesn't allow me to grasp this and acknowledge it.  I'm still working...............

I am not writing this or sharing this for you to feel sorry for me or to judge me.  I am sharing so we can all realize passing judgment or sharing hurtful opinions can further damage those that are carrying heavy burdens already.  Lift someone up instead of tearing them down.  Be respectful when you share your opinions.  Empathize with others.