Christmas shopper rant from a retail salesperson: Guy comes in...
Guy: "How much are watch batteries?"
Me: "We don't sell individual batteries. We supply and fit battery by a qualified watchmaker. It's either $18 or $24, depending on the watch"
Guy: "Why? I just want the battery. Why does it cost so much for a watch battery?"
Me: "We've charged the same price for a battery change for 8 years. We offer the service to have the battery changed properly done by professional tradesmen."
Guy (aka Ebenezer Scrooge now): "Fine. How quick can you do it? I don't really want to pay that much, but..."
Comes back 15 minutes later...
Me: "Your watch is ready, set to the correct time, day, and date."
Guy: "Oh, thanks. I never could figure out how to change the date."
Me: (what I wanted to say): "Maybe you shouldn't complain about paying for a service when they can provide a little something extra like setting the date on your watch that apparently you could never figure out for yourself."
Me (what I really said): "No worries. Have a great afternoon."
Another guy comes in...
Guy: "Do you have silver necklaces?"
Me: "We have a variety of sterling silver necklaces over here, and throughout the store we have many options of necklaces and pendants in white gold."
Guy: "Do you have one with a heart?"
Me: "Sure, let me get it out for you. It is in 9karat white gold with a small splash of diamonds"
Guy (cuts me off): "Diamonds. I don't want to pay too much."
Me: "This has a very small amount of diamonds, and 9k gold is a more affordable option of gold. Also, it is discounted, so this necklace cost you $279.)
Guy: "Do you have one with more diamonds? Do you have one that is bigger? Do you have one where the heart sits straight instead of at an angle? But I don't want to pay too much, but I want bigger diamonds."
Me: "Do you mind if I ask your budget to point you in the right direction?"
Guy: "Well, $279 is more than I want to spend, but I want bigger diamonds, and a bigger heart, but I don't want to spend more than $200."
Me (I want to stare at him like the dumbass that he is until he leaves the store)
Me (what I actually do): "I can offer you an extra 10% savings on this piece that I'm showing you. That helps you get closer to your budget. Unfortunately, bigger diamonds in a larger heart is going to cost more money. I'm happy to help you with that if you'd like."
Guy: "I think I'll look somewhere else for something cheaper."
Me (what I want to say): "I'm sure your girlfriend will be thrilled with that decision."
Me (what I actually say): "No worries. Have a great afternoon."
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