Blogger Love vol.8: Lessons Shared from Bloggers

Sometimes Often, I learn lessons from other bloggers.  It's one of the reasons that I enjoy blogging...I learn so much from so many of you.  Here's a sample of lessons learned from blogger buddies' recent posts:

As I told Alyssa after reading her post, you never know when and why you are put in the path of someone else's life who needs you.  This post of hers was a great reminder of that:  A Dime a Dozen.  It is also a reminder that we can learn lessons from one another when we may not expect it.

It comes as no surprise (to me) that when Jana has something to say, I fully support it, like this: Something to Believe In , and this one that made me cry:  Exposing Depression's Lies.  Both of these posts are chockfull of lessons.

There is so much honesty (and several laughs) in Jenn's post about Stupid Reasons I've Unfollowed.  What lesson did I learn?  I learned things to avoid getting cut from Jenn's regular reads.  haha!

Another Jenn, another great post, but for different reasons: if you don't stand for something.  She shares the lesson that you don't have to agree with someone to respect someone's point of view.

I enjoyed Ericka's personal experiences and insight when sharing her Thoughts on Quitting.  She also shares lessons learned from her childhood and parents, and I'm guessing many of us can relate in our own personal way.

Nadine is preggers with her first baby, and it's a girl!  This post that she shares is so lovely:  Things I Want for My Daughter.  The lessons that she wants to share with her infant daughter are thought-provoking lessons for all of us.

Steph's lesson that she preaches in  Any Book Worth Banning is a Book Worth Reading is a banner that I want to wave too.

Audrey shares some thoughts and lessons about giving a happy home to canine fur babies in her post The Origin of Dogs.  As a mama to 2 mixed breed fur babies and 3 kitties from the Animal Welfare League, her post spoke to my heart: 

Linking up with Mattie and Lexi for "Weekly Lessons".

Lessons inspired by reading Missoula by Jon Krakauer

Mattie announced that she and Lexi will be hosting a new weekly link-up called "Weekly Lessons" every Wednesday.  Will I participate each week?  Probably not.  I'm terrible at weekly participation.  But, will I participate when I'm inspired with a lesson that I want to share?  You betcha.

How's this for a heavy subject for my first Weekly Lessons?  These are lessons that I learned while reading Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by Jon Krakauer.

It is no mystery to me that acquaintance rape, date rape, non-stranger rape (whatever you want to call it) is a problem in the society and culture of American college campuses. This book examines several stories of such incidents that occurred (or allegedly occurred) during 2010 to 2012 on one campus in one fairly smaller town of America. The BIG story here is Missoula is not the "rape capital" (because it is happening in so many other college towns as well; there was even one FBI reported noted that during the same time Missoula was actually below the national average for reported rapes.)  But, I feel this book accurately captures a slice of the American pie of incidents that are happening all across the country.

Sexual assault is emotional and difficult for so many involved. The VICTIM. The accused. The witnesses. The family of the victim. The friends of the victim. The family and friends of the accused. The community. The investigators. The prosecutors. The defenders. The university and its leaders. In this book, the football team. Its fans. Its players. Its coaches. I think this book adequately gives a picture of the fact that so many are involved. So many are impacted.

The book shows how victims are questioned, doubted, blamed, and verbally attacked. It shows how all too often sexual assaults are not brought to court, and if they are, how difficult it is to prove in a "he said, she said" debate. Political games are at play. Towns and communities are torn apart. Families and friends pick sides and even more hurt happens in the aftermath than the actual rape incident itself that is in question.

A great current event read, even if it did make me hurt, rage, cry, shout, and question if this issue can ever be effectively handled. Can we ever treat victims with the respect they deserve? Can we ever investigate thoroughly and accurately? Can we ever pass out deserved punishment to the offenders? I don't know...and that's a crime as well.

Much of this I "knew", somewhat, but compiled in this book, I learned so much more about the trauma of sexual assault.  Here are some of those lessons that I learned:

1.  "Rape and war...are among the most common causes of post-traumatic stress disorder, and survivors of sexual assault frequently exhibit many of the same symptoms and behaviors as survivors of combat: flashbacks, insomnia, nightmares, hypervigilance, depression, isolation, suicidal thoughts, outbursts of anger, unrelenting anxiety, and an inability to shake the feeling that the world is spinning out of control."  (page 380)

2.  It is extremely difficult to gather accurate statistics about rape and sexual assault.  The variances between different research studies from the U.S. Department of Justice to a different federal agency, the Center for Disease Control to research studies performed by analysts, journalists, doctors, psychiatrists, and psychologists.  It is difficult to discern the truth in all of the statistics.

3.  That being said, according to the CDC study using data gathered in 2011, it is estimated that "19.3 percent of American women 'have been raped in their lifetimes'".  Rough figures: 20+ million American women.  (Author's note, page xiii)

4.  A rape kit, when performed by a nurse, doctor, or nurse practicioner is painful, invasive, and traumatic.  A woman's "most private recesses" are "probed, combed, swabbed, photographed, and intensely scrutinized by strangers".  Often a video is taken of this exam as well and can take 4 or so hours to complete.  IF a case is ever investigated and goes to trial, these pictures and video will be viewed by another slew of strangers for intense examination and discussion.  (page 18)

5.  Politics all too often come in to play with what cases go to trial and what ones are determined that there isn't enough evidence to build a case.  Prosecutors want wins.  District Attorneys or Lead Prosecutors in County Attorney's Offices are elected officials.  Their constituents want a DA or Lead Prosecutor that provides wins.  Convictions.  That means that there are times that prosecutors pass on charging an accused rapist or attempting to take a court to trial because they are worried they won't get that "win".  

6.  Sometimes the media is frustrating. Sometimes they are vilified. Sometimes, good investigative journalists uncover newsworthy events that need to be brought to public attention. (Example:  the Academy Award winning movie, Spotlight, depicting "(t)he true story of how the Boston Globe uncovered the massive scandal of child molestation and cover-up within the local Catholic Archdiocese, shaking the entire Catholic Church to its core.")  Some stories challenge institutions, corporations, governments, and more, to no longer hide truths and mistreatments.

The following aren't exactly lessons that I learned from this book, but this book hit it home for me all over again:

7.  Another statistic that varies greatly, but it is reported that "at least 80 percent of those who are assaulted don't report the crime to authorities."  (Author's note, page xiv) 

8.  Out of the ones that are reported, few accused are actually charged with any crime.  Of those that go to trial, few are convicted. 

9.  Basically, if a person commits rape, the statistics are in strong favor that person will not be punished for the crime. 

This is one of several graphics out there discussing this very topic.  A few of them have been challenged for their validity.  But, most of them are pretty similar in their numbers.  I'm not claiming this one is perfect, but I do believe it depicts the very serious problem with sexual assault and the justice system.

SOURCE

Again, this isn't just happening in Missoula, Montana.  Brock Turner (convicted rapist, ex-Stanford swimmer) is a prime example of this being a problem in so many of America's college towns.  To me, that is why this book was such an important read.  The more we know, the better educated we are, the better equipped we are to combat the issues at hand.

Linking up with Mattie and Lexi for "Weekly Lessons".