Heavy

Teens, adults; work colleagues, school friends; the successful, the unsuccessful; the unknown, the revered; Oscar & Grammy winners. 

Suicide.  It impacts and reaches into the lives of so many.  We continue to talk about it, but we continue to see lives extinguished that are experiencing turmoil and turbulence.

It's Saturday night.  I'm looking at articles, watching youtube videos, and reading lyrics because of the death of Linkin Park's Chester Bennington. 

Lyrics like these:

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
from 2000's "Crawling"

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
from 2003's "Somewhere I Belong"

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me
from 2007's "Given Up"

Now in my remains
Are promises that never came
Set the silence free
To wash away the worst of me
from 2012's "In My Remains"

I wanna fall wide awake
Watch the ground giving way now
You tell me it's alright
Tell me I'm forgiven, tonight
But nobody can save me now
I'm holding up a light
I'm chasing up the darkness inside
'Cause nobody can save me
from 2017's "Nobody Can Save Me"

I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
To so much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
from 2017's "Heavy"

Did I know Chester Bennington?  No.  But, I've known pain, confusion, darkness, depression.  Do I know his journey?  No.  All of our journeys are unique.  But, when I read that someone's journey has led to the outcome of Chester's, I ache.  And, I contemplate my own journey.

Personally, I've used Lifeline before.  I've called that number when I didn't know who to call.  I have family and loved ones who would want to tell me that I'm special, worthwhile, valued...but there have been dark times in my life when I was lost enough I didn't want to turn to them.  So, I called Lifeline, and I'm grateful that I did. 

Lifeline Australia 24/7 hotline: 13 11 14

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline USA 24/7: 1 800 273 8255

This link may be one of the most helpful things I've ever seen on Wikipedia:  List of suicide crisis lines by country

Rest in Peace, Chester

from Linkin Park's twitter

Little Black Dress Run 2016

I'm SO late with fundraising!  I may not earn a dollar, but I'm going to try anyway.  This event is tomorrow.  I'm that late!

I'm going to slip on a 'Little Black Dress' and run around Darling Harbour to raise crucially needed funds that will make a difference to the lives of LGBTIQ children, young people and their families this Mardi Gras.

Those of you that know me well, know that I don't run.  This event allows skipping and frolicking, so I'm in!

All the money I raise will go to the Twenty-10 Association to provide free specialized child, adolescent and family counselling.   Every cent helps!  Let’s show the next generation how much we care!

I personally know and have relationships with people who would have been greatly helped by such an organization (especially during their youth).  My participation is in honor of them. 

www.twenty10.org.au

Here's a link to my fundraising page:  http://littleblackdress2016.gofundraise.com.au/page/ErinGray0

Love & kisses,
Erin