Swappin' Countries: Going Home

For anyone new around these parts, Erin is an American who lives in Australia, and Kristen is an Australian who lives in America.  The two of us regularly talk about our experiences and lives swapping countries. 

Well, not sure if "regularly" is the correct word because we both admit to being pretty inconsistent, but we have the best intentions to keep this series going.  (Is it a series if we've only had one post and one guest post?)

Both of us are traveling to our original homes in the next couple of months, so we thought we'd share our thoughts, feelings, and anticipations about that visit.

Erin's story:  It's been exactly two years since I've last been to Texas.  I am suffering from some serious homesickness, I ain't gonna lie about that.  Two years is a long time to go without a hug from my daddy, a laugh with my mama (in person), and the taste of chile con queso in my belly. 

Two years ago, my trip was planned around niece #1's high school graduation and a cousin's college graduation.  This year, my trip is planned around niece #2's high school graduation.  I will also get to spend Memorial Day in the good ol' U.S. of A.  As a bonus, my mom, my niece, my sister-in-law and I are having a quick San Francisco getaway together.  And, as a further bonus, three of my bestest girlfriends are meeting me in Northern Cali after the relatives go back to Texas, and I'll complete my trip with a couple of days in the Sonoma Valley with my girls. 

When I go home, there is no time for rest and relaxation.  I am constantly on the go, doing all the things and seeing all the people and eating all the food.  I love Texas food.  I may have an unhealthy relationship with it, but seriously, when I'm home, I gorge on alllll those things that I miss when I'm in Australia.

Neither of my parents live in Houston anymore.  I split my time between Huntsville (with my dad and stepmom) and Tyler (with my mom and her guy), and I squeeze in a little College Station time where my brother and his family lives.

Often, I get overwhelmed because I never get to see all the people I want to see or do all the things I want to do.  I have to prioritize, and in this situation, as cliché as it sounds, it's family first for me.

So, this might sound bad, but I also see the folks who are willing to be flexible and put effort in our relationship.  There are folks that I was really close to when I lived in Texas, yet I never hear from them anymore.  That's fine.  Our lives have gone in different directions.  So, I see the folks that are currently a part of my life, and not the ones that were once upon a time.

There is always some feelings of guilt.  I feel guilty by the pain in my father's voice, and the tears in my mother's eyes.  They support my happiness here, but we miss seeing once another more frequently, and I'd be lying if I didn't say I feel guilty about it.

And, when I visit Texas without my guy, I miss him.  Three weeks without your partner in life is a significant amount of time to be apart.  But, it's something we knew would be a part of our relationship with the reality of me living on the other side of the planet of so many of my loved ones.

The most difficult part of the trip?  Saying goodbye.  Especially when I don't have an exact plan of when I'll be there next.  So, so tough.  I get on that plane.  I sigh.  I reflect.  I may cry.  But, I head back to my second home where my husband, stepkids, fur babies, and life awaits. 

I feel fortunate to call two places home.  To have people that love and value me.  To love and value others.  Through the hardships, the feeling of gratitude for that love and appreciation outweighs all.

Kristen's story:  It has been almost 3 years since I last went home, and almost 5 and a half years since I left for good (though, I didn't know that at the time).

Like Erin, I am suffering from some pretty awful homesickness as well. I am very excited that I will be back in my home country, eating all the food I miss, hearing people talk like me, seeing words I recognise, driving on the side of the road I learned to drive on... all those things. But I am obviously most excited about seeing my family, especially my mum.

My mum and I have always been extremely close and living on the other side of the world has been so hard. Sometimes I wish it were different, but you can't help who you love. Mum loves America and has visited a few times since I moved here (only once to Louisville though) and her last trip was September 2016. I met up with her and a friend in LA & Vegas and we had a ball (and of course, fought a ton). The next plans were for KC and I to come home in June 2017, and then mum wanted to go to Graceland sometime in 2018.

my mum loves Toby Keith

We booked our flights for this June back in December. December 30th to be exact. As most of you know, my mum had a stroke early January. If we hadn't just booked our flights, this trip may not be happening. I probably would have hopped on a flight home immediately. I almost did, several times, but she was surrounded by family and I was able to talk to her immediately after the stroke and she told me not to come. Things got a bit worse before they got better, but she is doing really well. She is not home yet, and she is not back at work.

Before my mum's stroke, we had lots of plans - I wanted to take KC to see the Blue Mountains and the Hunter Valley. I wanted to do more touristy stuff because I didn't know when I would be back. I thought about doing another mini trip, like to Uluru or something. Busy busy busy, doing all the things and seeing all the people. Like Erin, I had friends that I was 'so close' with before I left, but they don't put any time and effort into the friendship when I am gone, so unfortunately when I am home, I don't make an effort to see them - time is far too precious for that. Moving across the world sure shows you who your people are.

Now, after my mum's stroke, we probably aren't going to go to the Blue Mountains or the Hunter Valley. We won't go to Uluru. We will probably spend most of our time at home. We had already booked New Zealand before my mum's stroke, and I don't want to waste any of the time I have with her. We will be in Australia for 2 weeks, and we are spending a few days in Melbourne like last time.

I am excited. I can't wait to see my mum, my nana, my cousins, uncles and aunties. I can't wait to see Pacey, my beautiful golden retriever. My cat Agatha couldn't give two shits about me and wouldn't come near me last time, which is definitely more than a little heartbreaking. My little brother is somewhere I'm not going to be able to visit him more than once and that also breaks my heart.

Saying goodbye is stupid hard. Flying home is crazy expensive, KC and I want to start a family soon and won't be able to travel as often. The thought of more long flights makes the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. My mum probably won't be able to travel for quite some time. The unknown, the I don't know when I will be back, when I will see my mum again, it's so freaking hard. I feel so guilty that I am not there. That my dog, Pacey, gets SO excited when she sees me (will she remember me this time?), but my cat Agatha could not care less. They are both getting older, and I am not there for them. Yes, I realise they are animals, but I'm not there for my mum, little brother or nana either.

Like Erin, I do feel fortunate that I can call two places home and that I have people who love me enough to miss me, and I them. Sometimes I have to work a little harder at my appreciation and not turn into a sulky child, but at the end of it all, there's no real solution. I am who I am because of where I've come from and where I am today. My heart - as corny as it sounds - is forever split between the two places. Instead of sulking about it, I will appreciate the visits home more than I ever appreciated actually living there.

As I'm sure you can tell, being an expat going home is all sorts of emotional. But I'm sure I speak for both of us when I say excitement about going home and doing all the things definitely outweighs all the not so great feelings. And of course, I am making Erin see me when I am in Sydney, and who wouldn't be excited about that?

Reading a book by a foreign author set in a familiar location PLUS Aussie Author Challenge: Book 10

I like mystery/crime books.  I like them a lot.  There was a time when I pretty much only read books that fell into the mystery, crime, thriller, or true crime genres.  Yes, I've expanded my reading horizons, but a good mystery book is still one that I love to curl up and read.  So, I'd been looking forward to finally reading a book from Michael Robotham because he is an Aussie author that I regularly see him mentioned as a recommendation for this genre. 

When I picked up this book, all I knew was the synopsis from goodreads, that it had a 4.05* review on goodreads, and it was about a guy who escapes prison the day before he is set to be released.  Sounds like my kind of book.  But, I made an assumption.  I assumed this Aussie author wrote his books set in Australian locations. 

Lo and behold, on the very first page, I see a reference to "Lake Conroe".  Uhm.  My dad owned a house on Lake Conroe.  Not to be morbid, but my stepmother lost her battle to cancer in this very house after spending late spring and early summer looking out the window at scenes on Lake Conroe.  Is this my Lake Conroe?  Well, yes, yes it is.  I got even more excited to read this book. 

There were many references to areas and locations that I know very well.  The teenage character in this book goes to the very high school that I graduated from.  My intimate knowledge caused me to stumble across a few edit mistakes.  For instance, there is a massive "master-planned" community called The Woodlands.  That's its name...with an upper case "T"...The Woodlands...not just Woodlands, or lower case "t", the Woodlands.  But, hey, I don't want to be pedantic or pretentious. 

So, I saw a few of these minor mistakes.  Then, I saw another.  As seen in the following picture, a passage mentions some girls at a "honky-tonk" (fine, no problem, there are actually bars in Texas that we call "honky-tonks"), but these girls seem to be at a bachelorette party (Aussie "hen's night").  The author says that the assumed bride-to-be is wearing "an 'L-plate' strung around her neck." 

Hold up.  America doesn't have L-plates.  It is safe to assume most Americans don't know what L-plates are.  And, it is even safer to assume that a bride-to-be in a Texas honky-tonk won't be wearing an L-plate around her neck. 

Am I nit-picking?  Is this book, published at an Australian book publisher, is it edited for Australian readers?   Therefore, are changes made to the book for Australian readers, and the American version wouldn't mention L-plates?  I don't know. 

I asked Kristen (our favorite Aussie expat in America blogger booklover) what she thought.  She said:  "you should apply things to where it is set, regardless of where it is published."  I must admit, I agree with her. 

Rachel mentioned something similar to this about a recent book she read written by an American that was set in London (Lovestruck in London by Rachel Schurig).

Okay...................all the edit questions/comments/concerns aside, I liked this book.  I liked the story.  I liked the characters.  I liked the pace.  It wasn't too fast or "thrilling", but it wasn't slow either.  It was good story-telling of a crime & mystery book.  I liked that the author gives the reader some nuggets of clues throughout the book, as if he wants you to figure some things out on your own, and others he wants to still remain a mystery.  In the end, all of the stories are tied together and resolved, and I liked that too.  I will definitely read more from Michael Robotham, and I'd recommend him to others.

One more example, Americans call it a "tank top", not a "singlet".  In fact, it took me a good month or so living here before I even knew what Aussies were talking about when they said "singlet".  If the book is set in Australia, call it a "singlet". If it's set in Texas, call it a "tank top". Am I right?  

Okay.  I'll stop now.  My point was already made, right?  Now, I know I am nit-picking.

Two more to go; I got this!

It's the 7th year for the Aussie Author Challenge, and my 2nd year participating (click on the picture/link to take you directly to the site for more information).  My working book list is as follows:

Female Authors:

• People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks - COMPLETED 23 April 2016
• What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty  - COMPLETED 25 March 2016
• The Natural Way of Things by Charlotte Wood - COMPLETED 24 August 2016
• Rabbit-Proof Fence by Doris Pilkington (non-fiction) - COMPLETED 17 January 2016

Male Authors:

• I Hear Sirens in the Street by Adrian McKinty
• Life or Death by Michael Robotham - COMPLETED 23 September 2016
• Guilt by Matthew Nable - COMPLETED 3 February 2016
• The Street Sweeper by Elliot Perlman

Authors New to Me:

•  Past the Shallows by Favel Parrett - COMPLETED 12 March 2016
• This House of Grief by Helen Garner (non-fiction) - COMPLETED 25 February 2016
• Hades by Candice Fox - COMPLETED 21 May 2016
• Resurrection Bay by Emma Viskic - COMPLETED 14 April 2016

Gone to Texas

Actually, not yet...but I leave today.  

Photo source

Don't worry.  I will be checking in from time to time.

I've been fortunate to have some bloggers share their time and talents, and I've got some awesome guest posts lined up for you.

I'll be focusing on family & friends...first up, road trip to Mississippi to see this one (on the right) graduate from Ole Miss

Mother's Day for this one

Make up for missing this one's 40th birthday

Make up for missing this one's (on the left) 30th birthday (coming soon)

Watching this one graduate high school

Margaritas will be consumed (and all the Tex Mex possible)

Throw in spending time with other very important family members (like getting tons of daddy hugs), friends, and loved ones...and I'll be a busy girl.

Keep visiting and show some love to my guest bloggers

Follow me on instagram for pics

I'll be back in the swing of things and fully focused on the blog in early June.

Much love to y'all xoxo

Erin

The Longest Christmas Day Ever!

I'll be home for Christmas, and not only in my dreams!  The last Christmas I spent in Texas was 2006.  This year, for a combined wedding & Christmas & birthday present to himself (my dad's birthday is Christmas Day), my dad and stepmom paid for my guy and I to fly home. 

We work until 4:00pm Christmas Eve.  We'll spend the evening of Christmas Eve with Neil's parents, kiddos, and our fur babies with presents and pancakes.  Yep, we decided pancakes for dinner this Christmas.  Christmas morning we'll squeeze in a little more time with the kids, then we head to the airport.  We fly out Christmas Day direct from  Sydney to Dallas/Ft Worth.  We'll be in the air 15 hours and 20 minutes.  You think that sounds bad?  Try 16 hours and 55 minutes on the return flight.  It is the longest running commercial flight going.  I'm good.  I watch a movie or two, and I sleep.  Poor Neil.  He doesn't sleep on any kind of transport. 

Photo credit

 With the crazy timezone difference, we arrive Christmas Day too.  We spend Christmas in Sydney, Christmas in the air over the Pacific Ocean, and Christmas in Texas too!  Threeeeeee Christmases!!!!!!  We'll be in Texas for less than two weeks, but we've crammed as many family get-togethers in that time that can possibly be scheduled with parents, step-parents, brother, sister-in-law, step-brothers, step-sister, nieces, nephew, cousins, aunts, uncles, kids of my cousins.  Oh, I mentioned it's my dad's birthday on Christmas Day.  Also, it's my niece's birthday and my mom's birthday while I'm there.  More celebrations!  (more cake!) 

I pretty much invited myself to my aunt's and uncle's for New Year's Eve at their farm.  And, I'm going to squeeze in a day at College Station, an Aggie basketball game, a day in Fort Worth, a few stops at Buc-ee's during the road trips, Tex-Mex and more Tex-Mex, and somewhere, we'll find time to sleep. 
 
In honor of my dual continent Christmas celebration, I share with you these white trash Texan and bogan-tastic Australian Christmas songs.  I love them both!

Thoughts # 3 - The 'Burbs

It's official - I'm moving to the 'burbs!  Neil and I are moving to Blair Athol which is a suburb 57 km (35 miles) southwest of downtown Sydney.  The house is pretty nice for a lease house.  The finishings aren't fantastic, but it's a lease house.  It's a 5 bedroom 3 bathroom house - there's 1 bedroom and bathroom with a shower downstairs and the rest is upstairs.  Best of all - it has a walk-in closet, air conditioning!, a spa bath, a dog run with a dog house, plus a paved area in the backyard with a pergola.  Heck, I'm even excited to have a linen closet!  You know I'm not the cleanest girl in the world...when I don't have space or room to put things in place, like towels in a linen closet, it only encourages my messiness!  So...space is good. 

The biggest changes...(which are two big changes)...are the commute, gaining a 15 year old (Chelsea, Neil's daughter) and 73 year old (Graham, Neil's father) as housemates, and the change itself.  Graham is taking the bedroom downstairs which is by far the smallest.  So, we'll have our space upstairs.  There's conceivably 3 different living rooms - so every one can have their own little corners if need be.  I'm happy that Chelsea will be living with us.  She's a cool kid that I can relate to.  I've been a 15 year old girl, and although it was a long time ago, I still remember a lot of things from that time.  The commute - currently, I can walk to work.  With the move, I'll be on a train for over an hour.  I'm viewing this as reading time. The change - well, I haven't lived in a house since I was 17 years old.  I've been apartment living and mostly urban dwelling since that time.  So, it's a big change for me...but I have decided that I'm ready for the change.

We've definitely been busting at the seams in our current apartment.  It's a one bedroom.  It's small.  You can barely turn around in the kitchen or the bathroom.  All that being said, it was a place where I experienced a tremendous amount of self-growth.  For this, I will always be fond of the place and hold a special place in my heart for it.  And, damn...I'm going to miss the view.  My bedroom window looks at the Sydney Harbour Bridge.  It's difficult to beat this view........ 

i'll miss Kirribilli, but it's time for a new adventure.  Now...for the dreaded act of packing, moving, and unpacking.  UGH!