Serious talk

The high school I attended is in a suburb of Houston, Texas about 35 miles north of downtown.  At the time, there were three high schools in our school district.  Since then, the area has grown and a rather disturbing news story has come from my hometown area.  A high school softball coach and social studies teacher has committed suicide after accusations of sexual misconduct with a student.  You can read an article about it here. 

I've been struggling since reading and hearing this.  No, this is not the first story of sexual misconduct I've read about in the last 20+ years.  But, every single time, I read a story like this, I can't help but think of the victim. 

I have my own story, and you can read about it My Own "Dark Places".

The current story is going to be filled with controversy.  The coach and teacher was married with children.  He was only accused, so in light of America being a country where one is innocent until proven guilty, I don't want to make judgement of guilt or innocence.  Some may say he killed himself because of the guilt he felt, or the fear he felt for getting caught, or the stress he felt for being accused of something maybe he didn't do.  We don't know his story. 

I admit that I am angry.  IF the behaviour and actions are indeed true, can you imagine what that 16 year old girl is feeling now?  Accompanied with the trauma, shame, embarrassment, and confusion she was most likely already experiencing, now she is unjustly carrying feelings of guilt as well.  That angers me.  IF the accusations are true, he took the coward's way out.  He added another heap of negativity to that 16 year old added with the trauma he has caused his wife and children.

You know this social media culture that we live in with a whole lot of keyboard judges and juries?  You know the ones.  The ones that sit behind a monitor and pass judgement without facts.  I've already read comments from these people that make my stomach turn.  (Some of those comments are on the news article link I posted.)  Comments that blame the accuser for the man's death.  Comments that question and claim that these are false allegations.  Comments, on the contrary, that claim knowledge of other victims.  None of these comments are needed on social media platforms during a tragic time like this.  I shake my head and my skin crawls. Yes, one comment even made me cry because I can't help my own feelings to creep back in. 

I am going to share some hopes...  I hope the 16 year old girl AND the family of the deceased open themselves up to therapy.  I hope they find a counselor that they develop the type of  therapeutic relationship that will help them sort, discover, face, cope, and heal from the feelings and emotions that will result from the role they play in this tragic story.  I hope they find themselves surrounded with compassion, support, and encouragement.  I hope they are free from judgement, ridicule, and speculation.  I hope this experience doesn't negatively define the future that a 16 year old is facing.

Sadly, I believe that my hopes listed above are stretched and unrealistic.  But, I don't want a life without hope.

Fortunate

I don't care who you are or what you believe...  Please click on this LINK and watch this video.  It's only eleven minutes of your life.

Compassion.  Respect.  Empathy.  Who would want to argue with or ridicule those things?  Powerful stuff.

You don't have to understand.  But, you can give respect to another human being.  You can teach your kids to not bully others that are different.  You can be an example to others that it is not okay to ridicule, bully, or make fun of another's differences.  I'm not preaching.  I'm learning and growing myself.  Let's do it together.

Some helpful hotlines if you know anyone struggling: 

http://www.translifeline.org/

US: (877) 565-8860
Canada: (877) 330-6366

For LGBTQI support services in Australia: (website has information for each state and national hotline)

http://au.reachout.com/lgbtiq-support-services

I'm a big believer and supporter in asking for help if you need it.  If neither of the links I've listed above are in your country, please search for what works best.